No Kids Allowed: Deciding Whether or Not You Want Children At Your Wedding
With all the adorable images floating around Pinterest and our favorite glossy bridal magazines of flower girls and ring bearers, it seems almost crazy to think that you wouldn’t want children at your wedding…right? Let’s face it – children are wonderful, but there are some settings that really aren’t ideal for them to be a part of. Your wedding could be one of these settings, and that’s okay! If you’ve been trying to figure out whether or not children should be allowed to attend your wedding, here are some questions you can answer which will help to help you reach your decision:
Do you want a ring bearer and/or flower girls?
Most people are pretty confident in whether or not they want some cute little helpers working their way down the aisle. If you want a ring bearer and flower girls, then chances are you’d be okay with other kids at your wedding.
Do a lot of the guests you are inviting have children?
While this is your big day, it is important to think about whom you are inviting. If most of your friends have children, especially infants, it can make it harder for them to figure out what to do with their kids when they are at your wedding. Again, this shouldn’t be a major concern, but it is one to think about, especially if you have a lot of guests coming in from out of town who have children.
Are you having a destination wedding?
If you are planning a destination wedding, it pretty much goes without saying that you are allowing your guests to invite their children. Asking you’re nearest and dearest to fly to a distant location means that they are taking off a significant amount of time to see your nuptials – and that’s fine. It is important though to realize that if their children can attend, they are more likely to. Finding someone to care for their children over an extended amount of time is difficult and unappealing for many parents, so be sympathetic to this idea, and invite them all to your destination wedding.
Do you sweat the little things?
Some of us dislike spontaneity and disruption a little more than others. If you are one of these people, maybe having children at your wedding is not the best idea. Kids, as they say, are kids. They can scream, get upset, be clumsy, make noise – and if your reaction to this is more of a gasp than a laugh, maybe you should keep it to just adults.
Is the location and setting conducive for children?
Is your wedding party supposed to last well into the night? Do you not have the budget for a kid’s menu or chaperone? Consider if your venue, setting, and other elements of the big day would work for a child or not. If it doesn’t, relax. Chances are parents will thank you for not having them bother with bringing the kids to a place that wouldn’t work well for them.
Remember, its okay to not want children at your wedding. This does not make you a bad person! Make sure you and your fiancé agree on whether or not kids should be there or not, and that you have a discussion about this. If you do want kids at the wedding, think about who will take care of them at the wedding reception, where they will be sitting, and what food you are providing for them (children won’t appreciate your fish entrée as much as your adult guests will). If you don’t want children, remember to make this obvious for your guests. Exclude their names from wedding invitations, and consider telling your friends with parents specifically. This may seem awkward, but showing up as the old child at a wedding is worse. Help them out!